I don't really know how to define commonsense, but if I see someone without it, I'll definitely know. You might just be one of them.
1. You know that management does not condone any form of examination misconduct in Uniuyo, and you'll foolishly accept to impersonate your babe in a carryover course...not minding if you'll get caught and be rusticated from school. No wahala, go ahead...JAMB form has now been subsidized. Your parents will not be too bothered!
2. You don't go to Church. You don't even attend any Campus Fellowship, on the pretext that what brought you to School is your studies; yet you're far from being a First Class material. I'm fully persuaded that you need a mental status examination!
3. You go to CBN Auditorium, where serious-minded students are reading or tackling one assignment or the other for want of space in the University Library, and you're busy having a noisy conversation with your mumu friends or even playing loud music from your PC. You try sha. Na only you get laptop for Uniuyo!
4. You've stayed in the University for two years or more and you still dress to lectures as if you're going to your village meeting or Itam market. Your argument is NOT that you don't have moola to change your wardrobe, but that what you wear does not count. The intellectual substance is what counts. I totally agree with you, but keep dressing like that even when you start going for job interviews and it shall be well with you!
5. Since you came into School, your biggest achievement as a guy has been to chat up the most beautiful demoiselles on campus. Your mates are busy reflecting on the big picture and acquiring productivity skills. All your discussion is geared towards getting laid. Bros, I'm serious, you really need to give your life to Christ!
6. You receive a message on WhatsApp that tells you "an angel is coming to visit you with a surprise package, bla, bla, bla"...so that you'll need to forward the message to five different groups to validate the visitation, and like zombie, you start forwarding it to different groups in your popular culture of copying and pasting, without even probing the source. Excuse me, when will you ever grow up?
7. You go in for a test or an exam unprepared, thinking the lecturer or invigilator will be lenient enough to allow you copy or cheat. Sorry, not in Uniuyo. Try another institution!
8. You are writing an exam and forget to mute your mobile phone in your bag, so that it rings in the exam hall and distract other candidates already in the spirit. Your own lack of commonsense no get level!
9. You're just in 100L, and school politics has already gotten in your head, because you want to be called 'a one time this and a one time that'. You have failed to understand that your eligibility is incumbent on your academic standing. It shall surely be well with you if your CGPA does not even meet the requirement for vying for any political office at the appropriate time.
10. You have an exam to write by 8am and you prefer to leave the hostel by 8:15am to the exam venue; more so, without any means of identification.
What if the exam venue is changed without any prior notice? I bet you, you'll be as good as being stranded!
11. You've just been graciously allowed to sit at the rear of a lecture hall where a lecturer is teaching, and all you can do is repay his kind gesture with noise making. You're so lucky I'm yet to resume my lecturing job in Uniuyo!
12. You deceive yourself and your roomies that you're going for Night Class, only to spend 50minutes reading, 2hours on Social Media and 5hours sleeping. Are you sure you're really a student?
13. Your mates are busy with coursework, tackling past questions and trying to read ahead of exams. You are always at Mini-Stadium, Tropicana, Ibom Plaza, and Le Meridien taking pictures and hanging out with guys. You're doing 'hot chick' on campus. Don't worry, you'll soon turn to a chicken when you get into the labour market!
Michael N. Michael is a Commonsense Advocate and writes from the Department of Sociology and Anthropology, Uniuyo.
